Movie Review - 2010: Moby Dick

2010: Moby Dick

2010

The Cast

The Asylum V's Herman Melville in the Moby Dick Re-Dux.

This is where I start to wave the B-Movie flag above my head and scream "Yeah!"  There's a lot I like about this film... most of it being Bostwick's interpretation of Captain Ahab.  There's a joyous insanity about it.  I also liked the location.  No longer onboard a ship we're placed in the confines of a submarine and actually get to take on the great white one in his own territory.  Unfortunately, this doesn't work as well as it should.

Not having read the Melville tome I cannot compare the two, though I do hope they stuck to the story; like they did with War Of The Worlds and The Day The Earth Stopped.

Though, I do believe Bales did an admirable job of updating the story as well as changing the location to work within its confines.  Of course, there are your usual Asylum staples, such as helicopters being taken out of midair... usually without damage to the beastie of the moment.  Though I really did like the whale watchers tour scene, you know what's coming, but hey, you're still gonna love it.

The acting, for the most part, is decent.  And as I stated earlier, Bostwick has fun with Ahab.  Though, I believe it's Renee O'Connor, of Xena and Hercules fame, who gets the short end of the stick.  She is underused in this film and I don't believe that her character was meaty enough to compete with or complement that of Ahab.

The other good part of the film is Moby Dick itself.  There are some nice scenes where he's visible, such as the beginning on the ice.  For 2010, it's passable... though it's starting to look a bit rough and cheap today.  Though there is a good scene towards the end.  A Navy man runs into the shallows of the beach, believing there's a chance of being saved.  Unfortunately, we realise before he does that he's not in any shallows... as we see Moby Dick open his eye under the water.  In one movement, he flicks the man into the air and catches him in mid-flight.  The worst part is the budget.  So, even though Moby looks okay, by the time we reach the finale the effects are looking laughable.  The scene where Moby has a couple trapped behind a rock on the beach is one of the worst green screens I've seen.

This isn't the best Asylum film I've watched, though it isn't the worst either.  It's worth one watch just for Bostwick.  So for fans of updated classics, The Asylum, and Barry Bostwick I would gladly recommend this for at least one viewing.

I give this white behemoth a 5 out of 10. 

The Trailer

Movie Review - Zoombies

Zoombies

(2016)

The Asylum : Amazon / The Asylum / Vendetta Films

4.5 / 10

I love bad movies and The Asylum makes some of the worst, just look at the Sharknado saga and the Z-Nation television series, which are both awesome.

Unfortunately, this film doesn't have the same coolness to it.  It should have because the story is sound.  Due to a couple of infected monkeys, the whole of a new zoo is infected with a virus that kills the diseased then reanimates them in a killing frenzy.  However, it's the acting and directing that make this film poor, luckily the tongue-in-cheek style of this film keeps it from failing.

Most of the acting is wooden, with the exception of Kim Neilsen who plays Dr Ellen Rodgers and LaLa Nester, as her daughter Thea, who is actually the best actress on the set.  The award for the best hammed-up over-acting award goes to Brianna Joy Chomer who turns Amber into a maniacal, self-centred hothead.  This character is so way over the top it's as annoying as hell and helps to spoil the movie.

It's a low budget affair so you expect the special effects to be poor, but on the whole, the CGI is passable I especially liked the attacking giraffes.   Though in the same scene the director holds too long on the cutaways of the actors who are being attacked and because there are no Giraffe's in the scene it makes the entire scene implausible.  Since I like bad movies, I loved the man in the gorilla suit.  Sweet.

If the acting were better and the direction tighter then this would have been a more enjoyable and pleasing movie.

If you love B-movie films and The Asylum then this is worth a watch, though not more than once.

Bigfoot (2012)

The Asylum

0 / 10

Oh my God, what a travesty.  This should have a tagline - "How Not To Make A Movie"

I love bad movies and The Asylum make some of the baddest around.  However, they know that they are bad so they film them tongue-in-cheek.  The Asylum films have been a secret love of mine and now they are giving us the great Z-Nation I'm proud to shout their names loud.  They have also done some pretty decent films - The Reeker 2 was even better than the original and had a more defined storyline.  Their adaptation of "War of the Worlds" brought the H G Wells novel up-to-date and was so much better than the dreadful Tom Cruise vehicle, even though they had a far less rich budget.  I even liked their version of "The Day The Earth Stood Still" over the big budget remake.  Then there are the AWESOME SHARKNADO films which show you how a B-movie should be filmed.

So with their output, it's no surprise that one day they would make a really atrocious movie.

The other thing, after The Asylum, which drew me to this film was nostalgia.  The had Bruce Davison playing the Sheriff, and has been a favourite actor of mine since I saw him in Harry and the Henderson's... yes, he was back in Bigfoot territory.  Along with Sherilyn Fenn, Howard Hesserman, and a cameo from the great Alice Cooper; who was the best thing, by far, in this film.

So what made this film so bad?

Everything.  I know it was 2012 so I can let some of the CGI effects slide, though on the whole, they were bad and a worst, laughable.

Next was the acting itself, only Alice Cooper seemed to put any effort into his character, where all the other actors just turned up on set and read their lines.  The worst were Bruce Davison (who seemed tired and dispassionate), and Barry Williams (who seemed disjointed from the entire movie and cast).

The writers of this trash, Brian Brinkman and Micho Rutare, are the main reason this movie and story are so terrible.  They hit every cliche in the book, which isn't such a bad thing as this is what The Asylum, is all about.  However, the characterisation of the cast is so two-dimensional that you just don't care. The reason why Alice Cooper is the best character on screen is because he's portraying himself, and we already relate to him and the persona he creates.  The writers just don't bring any depth or interest to the rest of the cast, so you don't care what happens to them.

Lastly, the direction was all over the place.  Which I'm really sorry to say as Bruce Davison directed the film.  This movie is not his finest hour.  Ah, well, at least it's far behind him now.

If you have a chance to see this film...  Grab some paint... go paint the room you've been putting off until tomorrow while listening to Alice Cooper...  Then sit back and watch the paint dry.  This would be more appealing than watching this film.