Movie Review - Half Human

Half Human

1958

The Cast

This is a tale of two movies...  Back in the days, before they decided to redub foreign movies they did this.  Strip the original movie, in this case, Ju Jin Yuki Otoko, down to its basic storyline and better scenes (and in this case remove the sound too), then add segue segments where a narrator tells the story.  So here you have John Carradine playing Dr John Rayburn, an anthropologist, who is relating his latest adventure in the Orient to two of his esteemed colleagues.  A story about a group of friends holidaying when they come across "The Snowman".

The major drawback is the commentary given by Carradine.  Unfortunately, it's very badly written and flatly delivered.  So even when we meet the hulking creature we are neither in awe or in fear since we've been lulled into boredom by the dialogue.

To be honest, even the direction and acting given in the American sections of this film are below par.  Whereas the opening sequence of the skiers on the mountainside is breathtaking and thought-provoking, even though it's in black and white and not been remastered that well.  In fact, all of the original movie scenes are far superior to the added American sets.  Not only in filming, which has some really nice shots, both iconic and scenic, but also in the acting.  Even though they've diluted the sound the expressions on the actors and actresses faces say's it all.

And for those reasons, I would recommend trying to find a dubbed or subbed version of the original instead of watching this as it looks more entertaining... and so much better.

I give this Big Ape A Missing Link of 3.25 out of 10. 

The Trailer

Bigfoot (2012)

The Asylum

0 / 10

Oh my God, what a travesty.  This should have a tagline - "How Not To Make A Movie"

I love bad movies and The Asylum make some of the baddest around.  However, they know that they are bad so they film them tongue-in-cheek.  The Asylum films have been a secret love of mine and now they are giving us the great Z-Nation I'm proud to shout their names loud.  They have also done some pretty decent films - The Reeker 2 was even better than the original and had a more defined storyline.  Their adaptation of "War of the Worlds" brought the H G Wells novel up-to-date and was so much better than the dreadful Tom Cruise vehicle, even though they had a far less rich budget.  I even liked their version of "The Day The Earth Stood Still" over the big budget remake.  Then there are the AWESOME SHARKNADO films which show you how a B-movie should be filmed.

So with their output, it's no surprise that one day they would make a really atrocious movie.

The other thing, after The Asylum, which drew me to this film was nostalgia.  The had Bruce Davison playing the Sheriff, and has been a favourite actor of mine since I saw him in Harry and the Henderson's... yes, he was back in Bigfoot territory.  Along with Sherilyn Fenn, Howard Hesserman, and a cameo from the great Alice Cooper; who was the best thing, by far, in this film.

So what made this film so bad?

Everything.  I know it was 2012 so I can let some of the CGI effects slide, though on the whole, they were bad and a worst, laughable.

Next was the acting itself, only Alice Cooper seemed to put any effort into his character, where all the other actors just turned up on set and read their lines.  The worst were Bruce Davison (who seemed tired and dispassionate), and Barry Williams (who seemed disjointed from the entire movie and cast).

The writers of this trash, Brian Brinkman and Micho Rutare, are the main reason this movie and story are so terrible.  They hit every cliche in the book, which isn't such a bad thing as this is what The Asylum, is all about.  However, the characterisation of the cast is so two-dimensional that you just don't care. The reason why Alice Cooper is the best character on screen is because he's portraying himself, and we already relate to him and the persona he creates.  The writers just don't bring any depth or interest to the rest of the cast, so you don't care what happens to them.

Lastly, the direction was all over the place.  Which I'm really sorry to say as Bruce Davison directed the film.  This movie is not his finest hour.  Ah, well, at least it's far behind him now.

If you have a chance to see this film...  Grab some paint... go paint the room you've been putting off until tomorrow while listening to Alice Cooper...  Then sit back and watch the paint dry.  This would be more appealing than watching this film.