Movie Review - The Hatching

The Hatching

(2016)

Creativity Capitol / Media Pro One / Sabre Films / Spice Factory : Grindstone Entertainment / Lionsgate Home Entertainment

2 / 10

As a lover of B-Movie Monster Movies, I really was looking forward to this one as it's set in England in Somerset and stars Andrew Lee Potts, Thomas Turgoose, and Justin Lee Collins.

On paper, this sounds like it would have been brilliant, however, what we get are an unfunny comedy and a rubber crocodile monster movie.  In this day and age, we should be able to do better with the special effects.  Even if you have to resort to creating an artificial creature, that is pivotal to the plot, at least do it right.  The croc looks like it was built out of leftover Wellingtons and if it took a bite out of you all you would do was laugh, as there's no skull and no jawbones... it's all loose and floppy.

There are also some dismembered body parts that also suffer from the no bone syndrome, I've never seen a floppier leg.  These atrocious effects are the only thing that's funny in this movie as writers, Michael Anderson and Nick Squire, aren't the best at writing comedy and it really shows in this movie.  Apart from the laughable effects, the comedy falls flat on its face - and not in a good way like slapstick.

Michael Anderson who also directed this picture doesn't seem to be able to get the best out of his cast.  Potts and Turgoose are very good actors and I would watch anything they are in but this proves that under poor direction even good actors can come off weak and insincere.

If you like comedic monster movies then stay away from this film.

Movie Review - Zoombies

Zoombies

(2016)

The Asylum : Amazon / The Asylum / Vendetta Films

4.5 / 10

I love bad movies and The Asylum makes some of the worst, just look at the Sharknado saga and the Z-Nation television series, which are both awesome.

Unfortunately, this film doesn't have the same coolness to it.  It should have because the story is sound.  Due to a couple of infected monkeys, the whole of a new zoo is infected with a virus that kills the diseased then reanimates them in a killing frenzy.  However, it's the acting and directing that make this film poor, luckily the tongue-in-cheek style of this film keeps it from failing.

Most of the acting is wooden, with the exception of Kim Neilsen who plays Dr Ellen Rodgers and LaLa Nester, as her daughter Thea, who is actually the best actress on the set.  The award for the best hammed-up over-acting award goes to Brianna Joy Chomer who turns Amber into a maniacal, self-centred hothead.  This character is so way over the top it's as annoying as hell and helps to spoil the movie.

It's a low budget affair so you expect the special effects to be poor, but on the whole, the CGI is passable I especially liked the attacking giraffes.   Though in the same scene the director holds too long on the cutaways of the actors who are being attacked and because there are no Giraffe's in the scene it makes the entire scene implausible.  Since I like bad movies, I loved the man in the gorilla suit.  Sweet.

If the acting were better and the direction tighter then this would have been a more enjoyable and pleasing movie.

If you love B-movie films and The Asylum then this is worth a watch, though not more than once.